Will you marry me???

Have you ever proposed anybody anytime?
Pinky: I once proposed to my boyfriend and he said “I also love you sheena” and I broke up with him
Camilla: I once proposed a pretty cool guy (with those nose piercings and gelled stallion look hair) but out of nervousness he farted and I had to leave him
Bob: ummmmmm whats a proposal?
Jane: I did propose someone but he turned out to be she (who’s giggling?)
Savitri: are you crazy? How can you utter something so sinful (followed by some 100 gods names)?

For all those who think that proposing someone is difficult I assure you that it is a very easy and straightforward thing. But there are some precautionary measures to be taken before you venture into this frightening world. One is that you need to be prepared for anything. Go join the gym. Well you need to build up some muscles to fend off the boyfriend that the girl has(nowadays it could even be a girlfriend). And yes as helmets are suggested to all the bike riders (you don’t always need it but it’s a precautionary measure against accidents or rash opponents) you need to analyze the opponent before you propose. If she has a history of beating the pulp out of proposer then helmets are essential(unless you have an iron head and a propensity for getting you face smeared with dirt and mud from her sandals). I can see the smile on the face of the all the unfortunate guys who were meted by that hospitality.
The next thing is that you need to be prepared for all sorts of answers. “I will think, about it”(lady this is not a proposal for a project, it’s the matter of heart) or “ ” (that’s called silence where you cant make out what she is telling and have to do with the facial expressions-if she is crying then its yes/no, if she is smiling then maybe she is saying yes or she might be making plans to tell this venture of yours to her uncle who is in the police, and if she has fainted then you are in a big trouble mister).
How do you propose? “will you become the mother of my children”(that’s what I call disregard to the family planning committee – mister first marry her and her family) and if she is really dumb but madly in love with you then she will say “sure how many children do you have” (this time around the boy faints) or you can go ahead and give her a ring “will you accept my ring and become my life partner?” and she goes “I don’t mind, incoming is free, its just that the phone at our home is not working”(you call it a joke?). but its traditional to gift her the ring at the bottom of her champagne glass (which is dangerous as she might gulp it down with the drink and there goes your priceless love down the intestine of the lady) or you can confess your undying love infront of a large crowd on a mike when she is least expecting “sheena I love you”, “my name is heena and I am engaged”.
So precaution for the maverick and misadventurous lovers is to get you stats right first(and then distort them as you please) and conjure up a safe way to propose.

The sweetest love story is like this – a boy proposed a girl. She refused. And he lived happily ever after.
But unfortunately if she accepts your proposal then you have to convince her family. “uncle can I ask for the hand of your daughter” and here is the answer “and what about the rest of the body?” or “are you a body parts smuggler?” or “which one you want” or “cant you marry my first daughter” he he.
Now that the hardest part is over comes the easy one and that is marrying her (nobody told me she snores at night).
Well the blog is getting pretty big so I have decided to keep that topic for the next blog.
And for those doubting thomases who have never proposed but are planning to do so in the near future or are afraid to do it (hey nowadays even the kids propose each other) then go ahead and do it instantly cause “insomnia can only be solved by sleep”