I want everything more. More food, more clothes, more movies, more salary, more freedom, more time, more comments on my blog……
Finally I blurted the truth. So I sat down and began thinking how am I going to increase my TRP rating so that I can witness my name in the top three bloggers mail. Any observation has to be systematic and so I planned to strategise my action based on the information I find.
First step was to see then current blogs and identify the ones which were most successful or which received the maximum number of comments. Blogs after blogs I read and I realized that there is only one success matra. Go on posting blogs, be original and humorous and creative. Now that’s tough. I thought I would make my blog a bit more interesting which everyone would want to read.
I can emulate the largely popular K-Serials which is pretty popular amongst the housewives. I can write stories on never dying grandmas and mother in laws who are beautiful yet evil enough to make the daughter in laws life so miserable that she will suffer silently which prompts the husband to have an extra marital affair for the third time with a vamp whom he disliked earlier but because of the plastic surgery she has done she is not recognizable (she even had her vocal cords changed lest the her voice gives her away) and who has a deep dark secret hidden somewhere behind a closet whose keys are with a tantrik baba who lives outside the city and who can foretell future. I can also mix emotions in there wherein my heart wrenching paragraphs entices the readers eyes to allow so much tears to flow that the kaveri river problem is solved permanently.
All in all melodrama could be my saviour or better I can instil action into the blog where in the hero is able to fend off the rape of his beloved, single handed by fighting with gangsters of nonpareil ferocity using nothing but his hands and feet (to make it more interesting I can cut one of his hands and leg) against all the ultra superior and technologically advanced weapons which even the army of US would envy that the “goondas” possess.
Why not introduce some romance in the blog where in the hero and heroine dance in the whole blogs sometime in Switzerland, sometimes in streets in UK or USA (with the dumbfounded onlookers confused at the circus that is going on) or around the very own trees of India. And just when they are about to kiss either the sun goes down or the lights are automatically switched off or if there is sufficient light then you can see two bobbing heads full of hair (probably smelling the odour of the food, they enjoyed last night, wafting from their mouth).
How can I forget introducing some supernatural element to my blog where the flying ghosts unfazed by the danger of midway collision scares the wit out of my readers with their blood strained teeth and ear-splitting cries to the wolfs in the near vicinity on a full moon night with the soul of a dead kid whose eyes are protruding out of her sockets and who smells like she just had a bath in the toilet flush.
And obviously there has to be some dancing and loud music around for those interested in listening to incomprehensible animal voices under the pretext of human voice with music so bold that Beethoven starts tuning in his grave.
But all this was too much for me and I finally decided to stick to my old ways of writing incoherent crazy ideas and views on the various things going around us. Who wants to be popular with the blogs I want to just get my ideas out of my system to the world like this one “the length of the film should be directly related to the endurance of the bladder” he he
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