Winters are great season, especially in India. The whole year the season stays hot (I am definitely talking about the climate) and its only in winters that you can think of going out in the afternoon to enjoy the sun (nowadays getting sunbath is a crime, nobody would want to get darker but on other side it is a good proposition for the fairness cream manufacturers).
But winter also brings along with it lots of other goodies like you get lots of green vegetables to eat (I will kill the chef of Satyam if he gives me another broccoli sabji for lunch), if you have a girlfriend then you will enjoy a sigh of relief as she wont be able to wear revealing clothes and hence your friends and enemies alike will have lesser reasons to stare at her (Possessive??? Nah I was just sick the day they taught sharing in kindergarten), with the winter cap veiling your face you won’t be recognized when you fart in public (I know I have gone a little too far) and etc etc…….
Can you think of anything else other than this? I can. there are lots of marriages in winter (to save on the electricity bill and it is also proved that elders take less dowry in lower temperatures) and when there are marriages then there are NRI’s coming to the marriages from outside (mind well, I am not talking about NRI’s living in Srilanka, Nepal or Ethopia). “yo dude, how about some fosters”. Allow me to introduce you to one of my cousins who came from Australia. His name is vish (it used to be vishal but I guess that was too long for the linguistically challenged people of Australia and he had to compromise). Rarely does he speak in hindi or gujarati but constantly goes on blabbering in slang Australian language. “Ay, Gary (is this name so obvious), you think that we could freak outta this sham bam place to some pubs”
Okay control Gaurang, why are you getting so frustrated with this language, its just that he has been in Australia for a long time and he has this accent and slang ingrained in him, don’t eye that baseball bat lying in the corner remember he is your cousin you cant hit him.
NRIs have a solid knack of revealing that they truly are NRIs. With those flashy clothes, ironed out neatly combed hair, sunglasses bigger than windshield of my car (ok I went too far but was talking about the toy car) and that jewellery certainly give them in.
But someone will ask me how do I recognize if it is an NRI. Well go to any of the malls and search for the lady with largest number of shopping bags in her hand. If that test fails then search the lady with the largest amount of makeup on her face (you can also include highlighted hair and those high heel sandals). Then if she has a kid with her, notice if it is behaving weirdly like looking at passer-bys with an expression on his face saying “I am not an Indian, I am not an Indian, yeeoow they smell so bad and have such bad dressing sense”. Or search for the males in three quarters and a tee boastful of the entanglement of body hair exhibited in public(obesity is their birth right). Also they will have a Bisleri bottle always there in their hand.
Okay it seems that I have been pretty harsh on the NRI’s but the reality is that the non-residential Indians are better than non residential Americans or non residential Europeans etc. if you see the records then the NRIs are a huge contributor to the Indian economy. The remittances from the NRIs are the highest in the world even more than that of china so I have no qualms if they behave like aliens. After all they are the golden egg laying goose of India.
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