The chugging Indian trains

I simply love the Indian trains for the fact that you can find nonpareil talent there. There is plethora of talent hidden in the Indian masses which I became aware of only after being introduced to the worlds highest employer (for once I am not joking – Indian railways is the largest employer in the world).

Well I am pretty sure that all of you must have at least travelled once in a train of India and you must have noticed what I am going to enumerate at one point or another but I am sure that you must not have looked it in way that I am going to show you. I have had the pleasure of travelling in trains of all types, all classes and almost all over India. I absolutely think that trains are the bloodline of the country which have only recently ironically started reaping profits after Lalu Prasad took over the engine of the Indian Railways. But no matter who takes over this institution it is always going to remain the same.

My first memories of the trains take me to the past when I first travelled on train in a long journey. I was going from my city Rajkot to Kolkatta (called Calcutta at that time). The journey was somewhere close to 40 hours and since I was a small child I keenly observed everything (as you grow into adolescent you tend to focus on only some things – I can visualise the wry smile on all the boys faces reading this).

The most nostalgic thing about trains is the peddlers selling all kinds of food items neatly decorated on handmade mobile shops. The exquisite culinary delight that you get is nonpareil. But what caught my attention was not the palatable plethora of food items but the talent of the peddler to balance the “tokri” filled to the brim with the stuff. He goes zipping from the crowd with the flair of an F1 racer without spilling even a grain of the stuff. I have seen peddlers climbing aboard a moving train with their shops and then too they never once falter.

Now comes something that I was very much afraid of but now I enjoy. Well I am talking about those people who unintentionally kill mosquitoes and who enjoy the privilege of demanding money from people as their right. Yes I am talking about the eunuchs that we find in trains often. For those who have travelled only in the first class AC coaches I will sympathise with you as you have missed the fun of encountering this special specie of whom even the most valiant man fears. These people are great. The first time I saw them on trains I was awestruck at their appearance. What impressed me was not the colourful clothes or the haughty manner in which they addressed people but the talent that they exhibited of asking money from you and threatening you in midst of several other passengers and nobody dares come in between. The respect that they command is awesome. I asked my parents what was so special about them and I was so confused at their blushing. Well they certainly didn’t seem pretty, nor were they well built (its like I am defining them) nor did they look like beggars and certainly not like the TC, still people readily gave them money. I was really angry at them because when I asked my parents for money to buy toffee they refused and this gentle(wo)man comes along and takes money from them which could potentially have financed my toffee. Nevertheless I researched on them and from one of my cousins who had more knowledge than me on this topic disseminated it to me. At first I couldn’t digest the fact that there was one more gender than the boring Males and Females (you wont believe but my first question was what title do they put Mr. or Ms.).

One more talent that came to my notice was the singing of the beggars. “shirdi waale sai baba” was introduced to me by them prior to any other person. I definitely place begging under the ‘art’ category. Singing of the beggars usually has two effects. Either the passenger turns into an involuntary philanthropic and gives the money out of appreciation of the song or they give the alms so that the beggars stop their singing and passenger can enjoy some silence (with the sweet odour floating from the nearby bathroom). What impressed me was not their singing but their aptitude to convert seemingly innocent looking stones, ceramics, pots or other waste into a music instrument. These kids could become music directors and choreographers if given a chance.

Down the ladder comes the pickpockets. Trains are one place where pickpockets enjoy a lot. Its like a lion being given shelter in a barn full of sheep. I admire the pickpockets for their sheer talent of appearing as a passenger and then deftly retrieving your wallet or chains before you can even say “drop Sachin”. They will keep you awake the whole night when you guard your luggage and just when the dawn breaks and you close your eyes for a few minutes you find yourself lighter in terms of weight and heavier in terms of tension.

Then comes the TC. Impeccably dressed in suit (wearing blazer in summers? They are nuts) and tie they ask for your ticket. They are relentless people who always look for defaulters who have not bought a ticket and are still on board. And when they find their prey they rub their hands in glee. They display amazing bargaining skills before deciding upon the price of their bribe with the defaulter. What amazes me is that they always manage to find an empty berth for the ticketless passenger no matter how crowded the train is (of course for the right price). I think they should be in the foreign relations department.

Indian IT industry has given sleepless nights to so many of the foreign players, Wait till they see the Indian Trains.